I feel sorry for people who don’t drink; when they get up in the morning, that's the best they’ll feel all day.
I’ve got a drinking problem. I got two hands and only one mouth.
I’m on a whiskey diet. Last week, I lost 4 days.
I only drink to steady my nerves. Last night, I was so steady I couldn’t move.
How do you make four old ladies say, "Fu#k"? Get a fifth one to yell "Bingo!"
I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. The difference is you don’t have to go to meetings.
I don’t drink that much. I spill most of it.
I drink to forget. Just what it was, I forgot.
I’m really pissed off at the airlines charging five bucks a drink. That’s $75 from here to Chicago.
Did you hear about the blind skunk? He tried to rape a fart.
How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
What is the main cause for bestiality? Sexy animals.
What did one Dead Head say to the other when they ran out of dope? This music sucks.
Andy Kaufman talks about Tony Clifton with Merv Griffin
Blonde Naked Cuts – Tony Clifton Live From The Bunny Ranch (NSFW!!!)
Little Tony Clifton makes an appearance on Andy Kaufman’s Funhouse TV Show
Tony Clifton “Beginnings” (full version)
Tony Clifton “Summer Wind” (full version)
Tony Clifton – “Rhinestone Cowboy” (full version)
Tony Clifton 2008 Tour Promo
Tony Clifton at lunch with his newly adopded daughter, Keely!
Tony Clifton Attacks Jim Carrey at Press Conference
Tony Clifton Gets Down To Skrillex At The Hangout Music Festival 2012
Tony Clifton meets Andy Kaufman (Man On The Moon)
Tony Clifton on the Fantastic Miss Piggy Show
Tony Clifton Young Shaver
Tony Clifton’s highlighted performance in Man On The Moon
© 2013 Tony Clifton.